Afternoon Tea, or What Not To Do During A Fire Alarm

The creatures emerged slowly from the darkness, blinking in the sunlight, trailing slowly from the hulking building and straggling over to the Grassy Knoll,* squinting, stumbling, stalling, and eventually forming a loose conglomerate that in ancient Nordic lands would be called a Thing - a meeting of minds on a great hill.

And that's what it looks like when fifty or some-odd archive employees have to evacuate the building for an unannounced fire drill. Darlin' Patrick, looking sporty in his jacket. Elaine from reference, her hair gleaming prettily in the sun. Paul being chatty, Red congenially waving, Eric dapper as usual. All we needed was afternoon tea.

For the record, here's what NOT to do:
- Note the faint buzzing (different from the buzz of printers, lights, etc) filtering in over the music you're listening to while you work.
- Decide that the flickering light isn't the same flickering fluorescent light you always see, but coming from a new source, henceforth identified as the fire alarm.
- Stand there and try to decide if it could be a drill or a real fire.
- Realize there's probably no viable way to determine if there's a fire in one side of the building from the other.
- Try to gauge the flame susceptibility of your location, and in this case, bet whether the walls would be fireproof enough if there's concrete in their construction. Maybe you could keep working? There's a sprinkler head above your chair.
- Wonder if the sprinklers would go off if it was real, and if so, would it be acceptable to try and save your computer's back-up hard drive?
- Realize you haven't saved the file you were working on; save file.
- Check email, looking for a missed notice of an upcoming fire drill.
- Stick head in hallway, see no one.
- Wonder if everyone is outside.
- Wonder if everyone is managing to ignore the alarm.
- Wonder if you go out the closest door, if you'll be all by yourself.
- Wonder if the security system has an auto-lockdown feature in the event of emergencies, and could you be locked outside for the day?
- Wrap up ipod, pack up bag.
- Close down files on computer just in case.
- Stare at fire alarm in case it stops blinking. Hear a door slamming somewhere.
- Stick head back out in hallway. See person putting on jacket, heading outside. Decide to leave with said person, because at least you won't be the only lame duck in the event it's a joke.

Yep. Not advisable in the event of a real fire. If, that is, you believe it's a real fire, and not a drill.


(*yes, that Grassy Knoll - we have our own, you know). -AL